Men whose sexual proclivities lie within the vanilla realm can go about their daily lives without being exposed to naked women on the train, at work, in the park and so on. Even when they do come across the objects of their desire scantily clad such as at the beach or in a club, they are expected to look, to appreciate, and even to be aroused, though the latter should not be too obvious. The foot lover on the other hand can hardly step out into public without looking downward and seeing the objects of his desire, nonchalantly going about their business, completely oblivious to the torment the curved arches, rounded heels, delicate ankles, and deliciously cute toes are causing him. What is a foot aficionada to do when his co-worker crosses her legs and lets her stiletto dangle precariously from her toes as she arches her foot to keep it there? How can he possibly look at the spreadsheet with such distractions?

An office striptease.

Of course while his vanilla counterparts pay for strip clubs to take a peek, our foot lover, especially in the warmer months, gets to see pretty feet in sandals, flip-flops, high heels, and even bare for free. But still, the foot lover must practice subtlety because despite the Duchess of York’s toe sucking escapades and Tarantino’s obvious love for women’s feet, the foot fetish remains just that, a fetish, and not something the mainstream are yet comfortable with.

I wonder how many shoe salesmen are foot lovers?

What a shame it is that foot lovers who only want to caress, rub, kiss, lick and suck – activities which surely would feel pleasant to the recipient, or at the very worst, just ticklish – are treated like they are sick perverts. A man who leers at a woman’s chest, or pinches her bottom, or who enjoys looking at close-up shots of vaginas in porn is considered normal and understood. Yet if the same man asked a woman to take off her shoes so he could kiss her arches, she’d probably turn him down, as if a foot fetish means he has a secret collection of feet lining his cellar walls or something.

Let me interject here and say that a man who can only derive sexual pleasure from feet and is not interested in pleasuring any other parts of the woman is probably not going to appeal to many women. That kind of man may indeed end up paying for the privilege. However, a man who can give her feet a soapy bath, massage and caress them, lick her clitoris with as much care and gusto that he licks her toes, who can enjoy intercourse while simultaneously sucking on her toes, who can love her from head to toe… well, he’s a keeper.

I’ve always enjoyed the getting to know you process that accompanies new relationships, both romantic and platonic. I think my genuine interest in people shows and they become comfortable enough around me to reveal more of themselves than perhaps they normally would. The one aspect that especially fascinates me is sexuality. Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve taken a keen interest in what other people think of sex, what kind of sex they have, their turn ons and turn offs, past experiences, fantasies and fears, secret confessions, etc.

What sexual secrets do you think they're hiding?

I think the biggest reason the sexuality of others has continued to fascinate me so much is because of its unpredictability. Very soon after meeting someone for the first time I usually get a sense of what type of person they are, but when it comes to sexual matters, I’ve found it is better not to assume anything.

For example:

• I know a woman who is highly conservative when it comes to her career, home, friends, family, fashion, music and literary tastes, attitude to life, etc. There are no exceptions… except when it comes to sex. She is a firecracker in bed, a self-described expert in fellatio, anal sex… yes please, and switching between the two, in either direction, is welcome.
• I know a university professor who is rather geeky, but not in a young cool way – more your middle-aged old school variety. His young students probably think he doesn’t get laid. Except underneath his long-sleeve button-front shirts and pressed trousers he is almost completely covered in tattoos and his cock, heavily pierced. Oh, and he’s married and they swing.
• I know a butch lesbian who fucks guys on the side. Some of the men she has had sex with have become long-term lovers who she cares about. Yet when I’ve asked if this has changed her lesbian status in any way, the answer is no. She still strongly identifies with being a lesbian.
• I used to know a university student who was perhaps the most beautiful looking man I’d ever seen, classic model looks – think a young Brad Pitt – who got his kicks out of being kicked… in the balls. I don’t mean playfully kicked (if such a thing exists). I’m talking about kicked with boots until he’d pass out. Actually until I met him I didn’t even know the ball busting fetish existed. Unfortunately we lost touch but I hope he got help for this. While I find it quite a fascinating fetish, I know he was tormented by the damage he was inflicting on his body.

Over to you sexy readers. Do you think your sexuality is easy for others to predict? What surprises have you encountered with others? Does your lover know your deep sexual desires?